This little dream helps me sleep

Shehjar Newsmagazine Shehjar e-magazine
This little dream helps me sleep (Tender Caresses)
Summer 1990’s
Sushant Dhar

Searching a nook where one can sleep, one finds solace and never confronts truth. Yes, I’m in my native land, my motherland. Dreams are never guarded, they are free without fear. Dreams help me reach my native and guess its winter time. It has started snowing; I start early morning, snow and zephyr together brushing my head.

Walking on the snow, these long plastic gumboots of mine touch the snow gently. I was one when parted, now five; grown up a little. Its white all around, this white snow seems like a sentinel watching over the entire land. You look at them; these long trees covered with snow; serrated leaves frozen with ice. I walk for a while; I make sure I don’t crush the white gold with my feet. I walk slowly and yet carefully. This mellowy snow covering the entire land entices me. A symbol of hope, peace, of old times, of camaraderie, of happiness, of childhood and of lost memories.

This is a vast land of trees, trees all over. I walk through them and reach deep into the middle, moving my head around and walking again. My long plastic shoes caressing the snow beneath, I walk slowly. With each step falling down, I feel myself in elated bliss. I’m lost. This white snow is caressing me back.

I recollect myself; walking through briskly. The long snow clad trees with wings drooping infuse courage in me, feels like as if they are protecting me. I decide to never stop. Fresh snow starts falling in; my round hat and the fresh snow in it. I wear my hat, my head venting off all the heat contained in from so many years. I tell you; I’m feeling good now. Snow melting inside, falling on shoulders, cleansing down the skin. I craved for you; you snow, I longed for you. I’m clean, I’m crystal, I’m gold.

I walk with more vigor. This whole land around is all covered with thick sheet of snow. Looks like this snow is never going to melt; turning solid now, more firm. It’s been long since I started walking on this piece of land, Trust me; I’m not tired. After each step of mine falling on the very head of the snow, I feel this upsurge of energy shaking my whole body and round hat. I’m elated. I start walking more determined. I walk happily, with more joy; waiving my hands around.

There is this steep tough terrain as I tread my path. I never realized and felt that it was a huge mountain I was walking through. Now, I’m on the very top of it, at the very cliff. I’m exhilarated and stunned. I’m all strong now. I can feel this whole valley around, its warmth. I try to stretch my gaze and engulf as much as I can. It’s all white, it’s a dream. I walked a long way; thousands of miles. This very scene is beautiful. I’m enthralled. I’m happy. I’m peace.

“I never saw snow, never saw it falling

But yes it caresses me, helps me sleep”.
Sushant Dhar was born in Kashmir and currently lives in Buta Nagar, Migrant Quarters, Jammu. He studies Microbiology. Sushant writes short stories. He fears absurd. The author can be contacted at